Internet Hoaxes

The most popular and most crazy Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy theories

When news broke of the apparent suicide of Jeffrey Epstein while being detained at a Federal facility, it was always going to be the perfect fodder for conspiracy theorists.

The fact he was being detained at the time of his death, his multiple links to various political figures, his many other social connections to celebrities and powerful private figures across the globe and the very serious nature of the charges he was alleged to have committed meant his death was going to attract conspiracies like moths to a flame.

Of course, given the circumstances, even the most rational among us would agree that it is responsible that his death be fully investigated, to check for any potential foul play and to try and ensure nothing like this ever happens again. And yes, to hold any failings to account.

But while the more rational wait for the outcome of the many investigations into his death come to their respective conclusions, the more conspiracy inclined are inevitably wasting no time promoting their own versions of what happened, and some of those versions are pretty crazy.


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As is always the case, conspiracy theorists are a dime a dozen, but they never really ever agree with one another other. And a number of competing theories have hit the interwebs. We detail the most popular and crazy ones. Just, well… because.

The most popular and craziest Jeffrey Epstain conspiracies

Epstein was busted out and is undergoing plastic surgery

Is Epstein really dead? Or was that a body double in the photo claiming to show his body with paramedics? Given Epstein’s high profile links, isn’t it possible that he was busted out of jail and is somewhere half way across the world by now?

That’s the crazy theory put forth by Foster The People, an American indie pop band with almost a million followers on Twitter. In a series of tweets, the band’s account peddled the theory that the body of Epstein was a double because of differences in the ear and nose shape, and that Epstein was probably on his way to the “Middle East” getting “prepped for plastic surgery”.

The evidence for this theory apparently lies solely in subtle differences in Epstein’s face. But the theory doesn’t account for the fact that two different photos taken at different places, different angles, different times, different lighting, with one photo taken when he was alive and well and the other taken moments after he apparently hung himself, are probably not going to be identical.

Bill Clinton did it

Perhaps the most prolific theory – no doubt because President Trump has mentioned it a number of times, including in a tweet – is that former US President Bill Clinton had the businessman killed to stop Epstein offering authorities evidence that Clinton was involved in his crimes against children as part of a plea deal.

It is publicly known that Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein had – at some point – known each other, and supporters of this theory claim Clinton was likely a regular visitor to Epstein’s private island where he would participate in illicit activities, and once Epstein was caught, Clinton had him killed while in prison to cover up his own crimes. This theory was accompanied by the trending hashtag #ClintonBodyCount and is a continuation of an existing theory – which to be fair has been debunked a number of times already – that the Clinton’s have had several people killed and made to look like suicide in the past.

Variants of this theory also claim Trump’s 2016 election opponent Hillary Clinton is equally involved as her husband.


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Donald Trump did it

At about the same time #ClintonBodyCount was trending on Twitter, so was #TrumpBodyCount, in another glaring demonstration of the highly polarised nature of American politics. The nature of this theory is very much the same as the one above, only with Donald Trump the alleged perpetrator instead of Bill Clinton.

Again, this theory is based on the premise that since Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein knew each other, both were involved in the alleged crimes leading to the former having the latter killed.

William Barr did it

Attorney General Bill Barr also hasn’t escaped the attention of conspiracy theorists, and to add a little extra crazy here, this theory also claims that Barr had actually secretly visited the facility where Epstein was being held shortly before his death.

Of course the implication here is that Barr had spoken to staff or Epstein himself, which either way resulted in Epstein’s subsequent murder. Depending on the specific theory you encounter, Barr was doing this either on his own accord or was taking instructions from the President himself.

This theory seemed to have been hinged on a quote from Lewis Kasman, an associate of mobster John Gotti in the 1990s. However Kasman since denied knowing if Barr had visited the prison. Not only that, but we imagine the Attorney General himself visiting a Federal facility would be quite a difficult thing to keep hush hush.

The Mob did it

A pretty self-explanatory theory because of Epstein’s alleged connections to the Mafia.

The Pizzagate “cult” did it

Pizzagate refers to the conspiracy that there is a large ring of pedophiles that belong to the Democratic National Party, including Hilary Clinton and her then-campaign manager John Podesta, which also included a number of well-known celebrities and shadowy “deep state” puppeteers.

Pizzagate got its name when this conspiracy came to a head after the leak of many emails to and from Podesta that referenced a local pizza restaurant in Washington DC, which conspiracy theorists believed was the meeting point of the ring’s members. This in turn led to a man with a gun turning up to the restaurant, who was subsequently arrested.

This conspiracy theory, as such, believes that Epstein was a member of the Pizzagate ring, and that fellow members had him killed so be wouldn’t “blow the lid” off the entire illicit operation.


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It was an MI5 assassination to cover up for Prince Andrew

A little more on the fringe, but nonetheless a very entertaining but very bizarre theory claims that it was an “MI5 hit job” in order to prevent Epstein revealing incriminating details about Prince Andrew, whom he had known.

In what sounds like it would be too absurd to even be the plot of the movie, this theory claims that the Royal Family themselves ordered MI5 to kill Epstein in his cell to protect the reputation of the British Monarchy.

So yes, a little more obscure than the others.

These theories, many of which have entered the mainstream, highlight a growing distrust in government and law enforcement authorities. Yes, given the many factors related to Epstein’s death, it deserves a full investigation. And the crimes he was alleged to have committed also deserve one too. Not only for the victims, but to bring any potential co-conspirators to justice as well, whoever may they be.

Of course, waiting for investigations to take place doesn’t afford many the instant gratification they require. And there isn’t much guarantee that the results of those investigations would be universally accepted anyway. Alas, conspiracy theorists aren’t going anywhere, and neither are their theories.

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Published by
Craig Haley